Preface

Do you ever have thoughts like, “nothing is ever going to change, things are always going to be like this, the situation is hopeless, why even try, I’d be better off dead and no one would miss me?”   That was me.

Hi everybody, I’m Rick Langenheim and I have been thinking a lot about purpose, not only my purpose but everybody’s.   It has been over 24 years since I tried to end my life.   Severe clinical depression had left me feeling hopeless and thinking in absolutes like the ones I mentioned above.    I drove up to the mountains and parked at a campsite.   I then took a whole bottle of Ambien and waited to die.   But nothing happened.   After about 30 minutes I figured it did not work so I drove back home.   It was not until then that the drug took effect and I was taken to the hospital.

I wonder why I was permitted to live.   I have since discovered it is because my life has purpose and I have not finished the work that God has sent me here to do.   I think about all the things I would have missed, a beautiful new wife, grandchildren, new friends, graduating from college and all the students I have taught guitar and ukulele to.  And it is not just the joy that I have given to them, but the joy they have each given to me.

It is my sincere desire that the things I share in this book will help give you hope, peace of mind and a knowledge that our journey to happiness can change and get better.   In this book I will point out things that have aided me in dealing with depression.  Yes, the journey is hard but is worth it.

If you are feeling hopeless and contemplating suicide, please get help!   Decide to live.  Remember all the things I mentioned above that I would have missed if I had succeeded in killing myself.   Before I go any further I want to emphasize how very important this is.   You cannot and should not fight this battle on your own.   There is hope, healing and happiness.   I am living proof of that.